Rancor Keeper (ROTJ 1983-84)

His name says it all – he kept the Rancor, well, he was a Rancor handler. Not much to say about this guy – his big scene was a crying jag at Jabba’s Palace. He came with a “vibroblade,” which actually resembled a modified gaffi stick from the Sand People and a pliable head cover, like many of the Ewoks had. He also had what looked like the world first penny pants (as opposed to penny loafers). His last endearing quality was that he was another figure, like the Gamorrean Guard, who couldn’t seem to fit in any of your figure cases because he was so fat.

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. Goes great with your rancor.

2. Always cries at weddings.

3. Shows your sensitive side.

4. Accessorize your Jabba diorama.

5. Luke can kill a rancor, but this guy shoves him out of the way? Give him props!

Backstory:

Malakili (his real name), a human from Corellia, was sold to Jabba by the show Circus Horrificus. When the rancor came into Jabba’s possession, Malakili trained it and became quite attached. When Jabba planned to pit the rancor against a krayt dragon (a huge Tatooine beast), Malakili began plotting against him. However, Luke killed the rancor, and Malakili left to found the Crystal Moon Restaurant with his friend and fellow detainee Porcellus. Apparently he was given a gaffi stick after helping kill a giant womp rat for some Sand People.