Walrusman (SW 1978-79)

Walrus Man is another poorly (many would say humorously) translated Cantina character into figure as far as clothing goes. This garish presentation wouldn’t be corrected until the updated figure in the 1990’s line. Sometimes it hurts my eyes just to look at it, like the tint on my TV is way out of whack. The figure has an, um, orange turtleneck, with blue arms and legs. It came with the same blaster that many of the Star Wars aliens came with, a Stormtrooper-issue model. Walrus Man came on the original Star Wars card, as well as ESB and ROTJ.

What always bothered me about this figure, other than the eye-straining colors, was that the card back wasn’t a photo but a photo-like picture. This character had real screen time and they couldn’t put a real photo on there? Really, I joke (Hasbro give me free stuff). Not only that, but the picture shows – glaringly – that the figure has the wrong clothing.

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. Common weaponry. Lose the figure and you’ve still got a gun that goes with a dozen other figures.

2. It is so damn funny. Orange turtleneck. Orange turtleneck!!!???

3. Again, no Cantina scene you make should be without him. After all, he gets his arm cut off.

4. Get enough of these and put them around a sleeping friend. When he wakes up convince him he’s having some kind of acid trip.

5. Finally, you have an excuse for ripping the arm off a figure – it happened in the film!

Backstory:

Like many of the aliens names from the original films, Walrus Man was more of nickname than anything else. In the mythos, his name is Ponda Baba and his race is Aqualish. Because of the mix-up in the original movie, where the standing Walrus Man has webbed hands and the severed arms has hairy fingers, the Star Wars universe says that there are two species of Aqualish, each having one of these traits. So, in actuality, Ponda is kind of a hybrid. It is also never explained why his is the only lightsaber wound that isn’t instantly cauterized.

Ponda Baba rescued Doctor Evazan (the other bad guy in the Cantina) from a bounty hunter and the two became partners. Eventually they ran into Luke and Obi-Wan, who cut off Ponda’s arm. Evazan made him a prosthetic arm which didn’t work, but he kept trying to make Ponda whole, even trying a mind transference device to another body. To this day they are probably both still alive.

Want more? His Wookieepedia entry

171st in alphabetical order

Vlix (Droids 1990's?)

The last of the Droids line! I know that I said previously that there were only 12 figures produced in the Droids line. While that is very much true for most purposes, in actuality there were 13. The last was Vlix, but it only came out in Brazil, and only years after the rest of the line. This figure was actually part of a second wave of Droids figures that were never produced, except, mysteriously, this figure. His accessory is a blaster rifle molded in black that is very close to the one with the Imperial Stormtrooper (Hoth Battle Gear).

Because of its one-country and delayed release (and scarcity at that) this is the rarest Star Wars action figure of them all. Forget the European-only released Yak Face, this is the one. Go ahead, I dare you to do a search on Ebay and find one. Even a loose authentic one is quite rare. The only theory that anyone has as to this figure's reason for being is that Kenner was trying to recoup costs associated with making the molds for these unproduced figures, so they sold one to Glasslite, who manufactures their figures in Brazil. Brazil also was the last holdout for the Sega Master System (a personal favorite of mine) where it continued on for years after other countries stopped getting new stuff for it.

Why should you get this figure? Five reasons:

1. Realistically – you can’t. Also, you probably couldn’t afford it if you could find it now.

2. Unless you’re Brazilian and living in the 1990’s, fugeddaboutit.

3. If you could own it, you would have the single most valuable Star Wars Kenner item.

4. Only 13 in the line, so why not own them all?

5. The best bodyguard in the entire SW universe...just kidding. General Grievous’ androids did a better job.

Backstory:

Vlix Oncard was bodyguard/head of security to the Fromm gang. He was friend to Tig Fromm, and served on the weapons satellite Trigon I before it was destroyed. He was taken in by Boba Fett for the bounty placed by Jabba the Hutt. His last name is a joke since the figure was so hard to find “on card.”

Want more? His Wookieepedia entry

170th in alphabetical order

Vehicle Maintenance Energizer (ESB)

OMG! OMG! OMG! The VME! The most exciting, versatile...ah forget it.

Yes, it did say “Toy” on the box as laid out above. I guess because they couldn’t exactly say “Vehicle” with this one. Wow. The Vehicle Maintenance Energizer. This was not officially a mini-rig, but one of the Hoth accessories that actually was in a movie. Well, it was on the Yavin base in the first movie, not shown in the Hoth base.

The top came up and could rotate all the way around. It also came with 8 tools that could be held in a standard figure’s hand, arguably the “hydrospanners” that Chewie's always using to fix the Falcon. When you closed the top you could store these tools inside it. However, most people that have these loose today probably lost all or most of these tools. It also has two black hoses with suction–cup ends to “attach” to vehicles and power them. The box showed Chewbacca working with it on Hoth, but this was probably due to his propensity for tooling around. Chances are good though, if they had one on Yavin they probably had one on Hoth. It came in both and ESB and ROTJ box.

Why should you own this, um, accessory? Five reasons:

1. Chewbacca finally has tools to fix something.

2. Fuel your X-Wing, even though you never thought of doing this before since they’re futuristic!

3. Have Chewie get mad at it and throw it at a generic Rebel Soldier.

4. Pretend it’s a giant Wookiee hookah.

5. Pretend it’s a brain transfer device. Okay, that’s just silly.

Backstory:

Nothing has really been written about this, other than it was simply used to supply energy to vehicles and maintain them. It is seen briefly in the first movie at the Rebel Yavin base, so it is presumed that they are used elsewhere as well for vehicles in the Star War universe.

Want more? Its Wookieepedia article (not much there)

169th in alphabetical order

Urgah Lady Gorneesh (Ewoks 1985)

Probably the most boring figure out of the Ewoks line, since she came with absolutely no accessories, and in the cartoon she was mainly relegated to staying in the Dulok camp. However, she is the only female from this line (of 6 figures), and one of the few females from the entire vintage line, period.

Why should you get this figure? Five reasons:

1. With only six figures, it’s pretty easy to collect this whole line (yes, I reused this one - again).

2. The closest to having a Tammy Faye action figure that you’ll come to. Except for Ebay.

3. You need someone to ride the king at every opportunity.

4. Every village needs a nag/hag.

5. They never released an Ewoks Kneesah figure, so this is about as girly as it gets.

Backstory:

Urgah was simply the queen of this particular tribe of Duloks (no word on exactly how many there were), and wife to King Gorneesh. She sported a nose ring, which was quite the thing in the 80’s I hear.

Want more? Her Wookieepedia entry

168th in alphabetical order