Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Worst Star Wars figure ever

The DVD of the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days has got be the worst vintage Star Wars figure EVER made. Many of the reasons are obvious, and should be clear to the trained Star Wars figure aficionado. The most glaring is that is has no Star Wars logo on the package – at all. I mean, seriously, who’s going to buy it when you don’t even put “Star Wars” on the package. Riiiiiiiip off!

Top TEN Reasons this is the Worst Vintage Star Wars Figure Ever:

1. The vintage line ran from 1978-1985. This was produced in 2003! And not by Kenner!

2. Only one point of articulation – the hinge.

3. Only accessory is a disc that is silvery on one side and has a picture on the other. No gun?!

4. Makes no reference to stars, wars, or space.

5. Requires a “DVD player” to use. Cannot start playing with right away.

6. Has little value even mint-in-package.

7. Kate Hudson is no Carrie Fisher.

8. Matthew McConaughey is no Chewbacca. Greedo?

9. There is no shooting with lasers or blasters.

10. No one uses the Force or lightsabers.

11. No one ever utters the phrase, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

12. The Droids appear in every one except this one.

13. This is the “Full Screen” version, so you can’t even see the Sand Person that Luke is talking about through his macrobinoculars like in the wide screen version.


Apparently, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days was rushed into production with no input from George Lucas, nor any collaboration with Hasbro on action figure tie-ins. John Williams, long time composer, was also not asked to join the project. No special effects were used – especially not from ILM – except to make McConaughey and Hudson seem less crazy than they are in real life. It also turns out that the creature Kate Hudson’s character buys is not a Kowakian lizard monkey, but is, in fact, a dog. A very ugly dog, but a dog nonetheless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with you on this one.

As much as I hate to post a zero or one star rating for an action figure, this certainly deserves such treatment.

It's this type of incisive, hard-hitting review that gets the attention of the global action figure industry and tells them, "Hey! We're not idiots over here, you know! We can tell a crappy action figure when we review one or comment on the review of one. So, cut it out with the crappy!"

A +++ Would review again