Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Greedo [1995, POTF2]

...with Rodian Blaster Rifle [no exclamation point on this one]

Coming in the second POTF2 wave was Greedo, the man who used to shoot first. He seems a little muscular in the chest, but Kenner did a much better job on his color scheme this time around, a better matching head, and more Rodian-like hands. He also comes with two guns - mainly to match (the gun he was in the movie with) and to more appeal to boys (another big freakin' gun!).

By the second wave Kenner probably realized the bio cards on the back were going to be hard to keep up with every figure, so we now have the basics, a larger photo, and no lengthy paragraph.

Five reasons you should buy this figure:

1. The best Star Wars figure to accent your St. Patrick's Day.

2. A little lighter fluid, a match, some proper supervision, and you can make your own version of Greedo to match his post-duel carcass.

3. Those dead glassy eyes! Couldn't you just lose yourself in them?

4. A spool of thread for a table, and you can recreate your favorite Greedo cantina scenes.

5. If you really want to collect all the bounty hunters, you need him (although he has been disavowed by all the reputable ones).

Apparently Greedo has been causing trouble since the Clone Wars, since he appeared in the series, and faced his end in Episode IV. If you want his full story (and who doesn't?), read his full Wookieepedia entry here.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

EV-9D9 [POTF2]

...with DATAPAD.

I used to be excited about the vintage version of this figure, but this one has left me a bit listless. While it may be an improvement over the old figure with coloring and detail, and it includes a datapad this time around, where's the lever? I want my lever! In the old figure there was a lever in the back of the head to move her mouth up and down (yes, check the literature, EV is a "she"). See my post on the vintage figure here. I miss that lever, and no amount of datapads is going to make up for it. Argh. Who makes a droid with such a big moving mouth? Who? Who!?

Five reasons to get this figure:

1. Nostalgia for the moving mouth. Sigh.

2. Datapad! Can't tell your droids from your bounty hunters with out a datapad!

3. That third eye. Oh yes, look closely, it's there, beckoning you to look - but you must not!

4. Fans of scarabs, this is as close as you're going to get with a SW figure.

5. Closely matches the hue of the Colonial flight suits on the rebooted Battlestar Galactica. Another sigh.


EV-9D9 actually worked in Cloud City during Lando's management. However, her sadomasochistic tendencies got the better of her and she systematically tortured many of the droids in Bespin. After her controller found out, she fled the system, but not before partially sabotaging the City as a distraction. She found her way to Jabba's palace and quickly climbed the ranks. She secretly built a room for her tortuous experiments and built droids that felt pain out of spare parts, even giving pain receptors to droids that didn't have them, for her own sick pleasure.

After finding out that Lando had infiltrated the palace, EV-9D9 thought that he and his droids (R2 an C-3PO) were there for her, although they were there for Han. Before she could implement any recourse, she was tracked down by one of the tortured droids from Bespin, which let loose her own creations on her.

Want more? The Wookieepedia article

Monday, September 2, 2013

Emperor's Royal Guard [POTF2]

...with FORCE PIKE.

"Ah, sir?"
"Yes, what is it guard?"
"You are the Emperor, and I want to do my best to protect you, but..."
"Yes, guard, spit it out!"
"Well, couldn't we have guns?"
"Absolutely not, royal guard! Guns are reserved for Death Star Gunners, who get a blaster and an assault rifle!"
"Why would they need any guns - they are manning cannons..."
"Do not question your Emperor!"

So, despite the fact that the highest guards for the Emperor have pikes and no guns (this is explained a bit in the Crimson Empire series from Dark Horse comics), the Guard looks kind of cool. All red, contrasting with the pervasive black in muck of the Imperial forces, and a kind of cloak of secrecy.

Five reasons to get this figure:

1. Peel back the layers to see what's underneath...OH MY GO-

2. Where else are you going to find a force pike?

3. Red is all the rage this season, according to my sources.

4. Cool Cylon-like helmet.

5. His right hand points! It points! You know what this means? Me either.


They were first formed as the Red Guard for the Republic Senate after Palpatine claimed rumors of corruption in the Senate. They later became the Emperor’s personal guard. They were handpicked from among the best stormtroopers, and underwent rigorous and grueling training. To keep in fighting form, some were always rotated out on combat missions, so some survived the destruction of the second Death Star. These remaining Guards were chronicled in the graphic novel series Crimson Empire, where they fought for supremacy. They also came back together to protect the clone Emperor in Dark Empire, but one of their own had sabotaged the Emperor’s clones so he would not live long.

Want more? Full article at Wookieepedia. Article just on force pikes.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Death Star Gunner [POTF2, 1995]


Sheesh, all of these military types not only get the Imperial blaster, but a mother-puss-bucket assault rifle. Not A rifle, but an assault rifle.

So anyway, second line of the POTF2 figures comes out, and Kenner chooses to make a figure that looks best in a gunner chair on the Death Star, but doesn't make the gunner chair. Oh, well, still looks kind of cool.

Five reasons to get this figure:

1. Another Imperial dressed in black - collect them all!

2. Another Imperial for the Death Star II Emperor line-up - collect them all!

3. Another Imperial with a blaster and an assault rifle - collect, ah forget about it.

4. Cool helmet - especially for the Tour de France.

5. Re-enact his big scene: "Oh I hope they come to my hemisphere of the Death Star! Damnit - why are they going for the trench?"

As cool as the figure looks, in reality, Imperial Gunners are often the lesser-scoring recruits in the Imperial forces. The visor helmet provides little peripheral vision and makes them run into things. Their main function is to guard against the blinding light of the Death Star main gun. Although why you would design something like that where the guys sit that close to the laser is beyond me. It's a cruel joke, man.

Want more? Wookieepedia article on Gunners