Jawa (SW 1978-79)

Can’t trust a Jawa. Those beady eyes. Always after your ipod. The gun that looks like part of a muffler. Actually, did you ever see that scene in John Carpenter’s “The Thing,” where Kurt Russell uses the hot end of that flamethrower testing people’s blood? Yeah, the gun looks like that, only without a backpack. But that is neither here nor there.

The Jawa came with a “blaster pistol,” which was really more of a portable ion gun to neutralize machinery. It’s the same one used on R2 to take him down in the first movie. The gun looks like it has been warn down, but it is really lacking any good detail. Most Jawa figures also came with a cloth cape, but the earliest release had a vinyl cape, making it pretty rare. Underneath the cape on the figure itself is printed bandoliers (which were actually over the cape in the movies). The Jawa came on a SW, ESB, ROTJ, and POTF card. It was one of the original “12-back” figures. I have two left to do from the 12 – can you figure out which ones?

I have said this before and I’ll say it again, I was always miffed by the short figures when I was a kid. They seemed like such a rip off. At least when they came out with Jawas in the 1990’s line they made it a two-pack. No cloth cape though. The Jawas afforded a special place of honor as both the Remote-Controlled Sandcrawler and the Land of the Jawas Playset was made with them in mind.

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. Finally figure out what’s underneath that hood. Ah-hah … wait … damnit!

2. Line up three and turn on your recording of the Lollipop Guild song from The Wizard of Oz.

3. Cloth cape = Jawa strip tease.

4. Get a heap of them and re-enact that little Jawa bonfire C-3PO and Obi-Wan got going.

5. Addendum to number 4: re-enact the missing scene where the Stormtroopers fight the Jawas. Sure, they can take out a sandcrawler full of Jawas, but they can’t take out some frickin’ Ewoks? The Empire deserved to die.

Backstory:

Jawas are native to Tatooine, and are very passive compared to other natives such as Tusken Raiders. They are descendants of race that once lived on the very habitable Tatooine, but was mercilessly bombed by a rival race, turning the planet into a desert. The climate change eventually created a divergence in the species: Jawas and Sandpeople.

Jawas live in tribes, scouring the desert for discarded junk and debris from colonists and space. The sandcrawlers they travel in are abandoned ore haulers; left behind when it was realized the ores of Tatooine weren’t worth the cost.

The Jawas were most prominent in capturing the two droids and selling them to Luke and his Uncle Owen. That tribe was killed because of that, but there are many more on the Tatooine landscape.
Their appearance is a mystery, since they wear special cloth strips over their faces to keep in moisture. That, and no one likes their smell.

Want more? Wookieepedia article

86th in alphabetical order

Jann Tosh (Droids 1985)

That open shirt with the ripped chest and abs? It’s He-Man, I mean, Jann Tosh! With his fondness for red vests and headbands, Jann Tosh comes with a blaster rifle just like IG-88’s, except molded in black. He also has different colored wristbands, completing his 1980’s “let’s get physical” ensemble.

Why should you get this figure? Five reasons:

1. Hey – Jann isn’t just a girl’s name anymore.

2. That dashing headband, that bulging chest.

3. The only other guy that could pilot the A-Wing, I mean, R-22 Spearhead.

4. The idol to headband-wearing guys everywhere.

5. You actually go for those kind of looks.

Backstory:

Jann Tosh bought the droids from an abusive owner, as well as an alien (who later turns out to be a prince) in disguise. He eventually takes the alien, Kez-Iban, back to his homeworld to reclaim his throne. Jann is then made captain in that world’s space navy. At one point in the show, he is shown piloting an A-Wing fighter, but since those weren’t supposed to exist until after The Empire Strikes Back, this has been retroactively converted (retconned) to an R-22 Spearhead. Along the way he was helped out by the two droids. Afterwards he joined the Rebel Alliance.

Want more? The Wookieepedia article

85th in alphabetical order

The Jabba the Hutt Dungeon Action Playset (ROTJ)

What do you do when you run out of the will to make something unique? Why, dig up something old and re-use it! That’s what Kenner did for Jabba’s Dungeon, reusing the base from the Droid Factory. It was remolded, however, so you couldn’t see that there were spots to put a bunch of little pieces. The base of the hook was also moved a little.

The Dungeon was a Sears exclusive, and had two different versions (one for each year it was out). The first one had a grey base and came with 8D8, Klaatu (Skiff Guard), and Nikto. The later one had a brown base and came with EV-9D9, Amanaman, and Barada. It only came out in an ROTJ box. The hook was the only implement of torture – or the movable part – in the whole thing. It is interesting to note that anything that ever came with figures in the original line was some store’s exclusive. Hmmm.

Why should you own this set? Five reasons:

1. You got left out of the Droid Factory craze.

2. You want these three/six figures, but are too lazy to buy them separately.

3. Get it for it’s play value! Oh, wait, it sucks.

4. Can use it as a display stand, because that’s about all it’s good for.

5. You can fit it in the full-size Jabba’s Palace you’re building. You nerd.

Backstory:

Jabba’s real dungeon had grimy cells, and the droid torture rooms were pretty much one big room and didn’t resemble this at all. This is pretty much a lazy excuse to come out with another toy in my humble opinion.

Want more about Jabba's Palace? The Wookieepedia article

84th in alphabetical order

Jabba the Hutt Action Playset (ROTJ)

In name, this is a playset, but it can be argued that this is a two-figure set with some accessories.

The major player here is Jabba, with movable torso, arms, and tail. When you moved the torso it made the tail move – rather nifty at the time. Accompanying him is his cackling court jester, Salacious Crumb. Crumb has no movement, and is only formed to sit on Jabba’s throne. However, this doesn’t prevent your from trying to imitate his laugh.

The throne features all the accoutrements:
-Trapdoors to simulate Jabba’s dungeon.
-A hookah with pipe and water bowl (for a tasty Klaatoine paddy frog snack)
-A slave collar and “chain”

To be honest, this was probably one of the best figures I ever had.
Why should you own it? I’ll supersize-it with 10 reasons!

1. Jabba’s eyes. No, this isn’t romantic – the figure had really cool lifelike glassy eyes!

2. Where else are you going to find a toy that so blatantly advertises smoking?

3. The detail is actually really good for the original line, down to the little Cyclops faces on the front of the throne.

4. The inside of Jabba’s throne is another one of those “Mom doesn’t know what she’s buying me” things. There are skeletons in there and a random jawbone and everything!

5. Doing the Jabba Shuffle – move the tail back and forth and watch him do the twist.

6. Make Salacious Crumb cackle incessantly at your younger sibling.

7. The slave collar and chain gave you hope that they would make a Leia in Slave Girl outfit figure. This, however, did not come until the 1990’s line.

8. The figure set up on the box, other than Luke wearing the collar, is actually fairly representative of the characters on the scene in the movie.

9. Jabba’s trap-doored throne dungeon is a good place to give time-outs to your figures that have been naughty.

10. Perfect to place next to your Han in Carbonite (either the figure or the accessory from the Slave I ship).

Backstory:

His full name was Jabba Desilijic Tiure, a Hutt who, at only 80 (he was about 622 years old when he died), started his crime empire on Tatooine. His palace is actually an old B’Omarr monastery (the big spider thing you see in the palace? That’s a B’Omarr monk).

He rose to power through gambling, spice smuggling, and other sordid endeavors. He attracted various lowlifes of the galaxy, including bounty hunters, various yes-men, and his majordomo, Bib Fortuna. He picked up Salacious Crumb, a Kowakian spider monkey, on one of his rare off-world excursions. Crumb had been a pest on a space station and hitched a ride on Jabba’s ship, one step ahead of exterminators. Crumb so humored Jabba with his antics that he kept him on as a jester, but only if Crumb made him laugh at least daily.

Jabba’s overconfidence led to his downfall when Luke and the gang, attempting to rescue Han, killed Jabba and much of his entourage by blowing up his sand barge (technically Leia strangled him with the slave chain before that). Crumb died in the explosion.

After Jabba’s death, the B’Omarr monks took their monastery back by force, overcoming whichever of Jabba’s followers were left. Jabba’s father, Zorba, put a price out on the people who killed his son, but ended the bounty once Leia was elected to head of office, to avoid any conflict.

Want more? Jabba's full Wookieepedia article

83rd in alphabetical order