Emperor’s Royal Guard (ROTJ 1983-84)

The Royal Guard looked to be real bad asses. The red helmet with the “I won’t take any s---t from you” stare. The robed standing-at-attention stance. The big lances. Then, during the movie, they did…nothing. Nothing! The Emperor gets killed, and they do nothing! Sure, he sent them away, but even the Secret Service has tabs on the President all the time. Apparently, there may have been a deleted scene where the guards confronted an admiral, but that has not been publicly shown.

The figure was only released on ROTJ backing, and included a force pike as a weapon. The red cloth robe was attached at the base of the helmet, with a slit for one arm to come out and grasp the pike. Neither the robe nor the cape could be removed – except by wrecking the figure.

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. Despite their movie inaction, it still looks bad ass.

2. Great red figure for ex-Soviet lovers.

3. Goes great with an Imperial Shuttle.

4. Create a scene where the Guards actually do something, like Grevious’ robot guards in Revenge of the Sith.

5. The force pike makes a great limbo pole for all the figures.

Backstory:

They were first formed as the Red Guard for the Republic Senate after Palpatine claimed rumors of corruption in the Senate. They later became the Emperor’s personal guard. They were handpicked from among the best stormtroopers, and underwent rigorous and grueling training. To keep in fighting form, some were always rotated out on combat missions, so some survived the destruction of the second Death Star. These remaining Guards were chronicled in the graphic novel series Crimson Empire, where they fought for supremacy. They also came back together to protect the clone Emperor in Dark Empire, but one of their own had sabotaged the Emperor’s clones so he would not live long.

Want more? Full article at Wookieepedia

52nd in alphabetical order

The Emperor (ROTJ 1983-83)

What did I want to do with the Emperor figure? I wanted to shoot lightning out of his freakin’ hands! Given the looser rules on toy safety back then, I might have gotten my wish with a Special Edition Sparking Emperor or something like that. Unfortunately, by the time the original Emperor figure came out in stores the line was starting to wind down.

The Emperor figure came out on both ROTJ and POTF cards, and came only with a cane. A cane!

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. Stick a couple of sparklers in his hands and, voila, you have Force lightning!

2. Re-create the deleted scene where a young stormtrooper shows the Emperor how to work his computer!

3. That cane might not be a match for the Rebels, but I bet it could stand its own against some Ewoks.

4. If you do it just right, you might be able to balance the Emperor in Vader’s hands. It might require some tape.

5. That mysterious cloak? That gravelly voice? You just figured out a present for your grandpa!

Backstory:

After the original movies, the Emperor was finally given the name Palpatine, so anyone who knew that fact knew years before the prequels came out that he was going to be the bad guy. Palpatine was supposedly born on Naboo, in the city of Theed (it is unknown if this is true or what he claimed), and his Force prowess somehow was unnoticed by the Jedi, but was discovered by his master, Darth Plagueis. When he felt that Plagueis might be making an apprentice to replace him, Palpatine killed him in his sleep, and continued the training of his own apprentice, Darth Maul.

Palpatine entered Naboo politics 70 years before the Battle of Yavin, carefully hiding his true identity. He eventually rose through the ranks, becoming the Naboo Senator to the Galactic Republic. He remained modest for some time, slowly manipulating things for his own interest in the background. During the events of the prequels he ramped things up, framing Chancellor Valorum for corruption, and with sympathy for his home planet, got himself elected Chancellor. Engineering both the rise of the Trade Federation and their robots armies, and secretly planning the clone armies, Palpatine eventually got them into major conflicts. With the “fate of the galaxy” in the balance, he got more and more power voted for himself, using both manipulation and dark Force mind tricks. In the meantime he also took another apprentice (Darth Tyrannus/Count Dooku) after Maul’s death, while he waited for Anakin to mature.

With so much power, he was able to reform the Republic into an Empire, with himself at the head. He also had secretly given orders to eliminate the Jedi should they become “rebellious.” After engineering the destruction of the Jedi, he consolidated his power and ruled much of the galaxy until Anakin’s son became a Jedi, and influenced Anakin into killing Palpatine. Palpatine did return, however, transferring his spirit into a prepared clone body, but the clone bodies had been sabotaged by one of the former Royal Guards, and a Jedi eventually destroyed Palpatine’s spirit before it could take over Leia and Han’s baby son, Anakin Solo.

Want more? Full article at Wookieepedia

51st in alphabetical order

8D8 (ROTJ 1983-84)

8D8 reminds you that it is not human. While most droids had a pleasant voice, or a friendly little “gonk” sound, all we saw of 8D8 was him manning a hot smelter to torture a droid. Oooooookay. No voice, no expression, just a blank stare, empty eyes, and an open “mouth.”

8D8 came on an ROTJ card with no accessories. Of course, the only accessory he is seen with is a droid torture device. Lo and behold, when the figure line was started again in the 1990’s, 8D8 actually came with the device! Much later we get the Bespin torture chair for Han. The figure was a little bulkier than in the character in the movie, but getting a figure as skinny as that (a puppet on-screen) may have been a little difficult.

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. Who doesn’t love a torturer? What – people who have been tortured? Oh, yeah.

2. The favorite figure of many a sadistic dictator.

3. The closest Star Wars came to a Terminator endoskeleton.

4. Art buffs enjoy 8D8’s similarity to Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.”

5. The shortest name in the Star Wars action figure line!

Backstory:

8D8 was built by the Verpine Roche hive for use in ore extraction facilities. This line was not built to be overly sophisticated, but meant for simple tasks, some which required strength. However, when EV-9D9 came to Jabba’s, she reprogrammed 8D8 for torture on both organic beings and droids. 8D8 still didn’t like her though.

Want more? His Wookieepedia article

50th in alphabetical order

Early Bird Certificate Package (SW 1977-78)

One of the most brilliant things that George Lucas ever did was to waive certain director payments to him from the first Star Wars film in order to secure the licensing rights to Star Wars for himself. Whether he thought “What the hell?” or what, he is now a very, very, very rich man because of that decision. Kenner, likewise, had a decision to make when they got the toy manufacturing rights to the Star Wars films – what to make? Well, the only things they could get out in time for Christmas 1977 were some Star Wars board games and puzzles (everyone and their mother had one of those puzzles). They couldn’t get the figures out in time, but what they could get out was an empty box. Yes, an empty box.

That empty box was known as the Early Bird Certificate Package. Okay, it wasn’t really empty, but it had no figures. What it had was a certificate to send away for four figures (Luke, Leia, Chewbacca, and R2), a display stand (which you couldn’t really use until the figures came), a Star Wars Club membership card, and stickers.

The certificate insured that you would get the four figures, but they came after Christmas, in the first few months of the new year. The first sets included Luke with a double telescoping lightsaber, and Chewbacca’s bowcaster had a greenish hue. The mail-away came with all their accessories and feet pegs so they could stand on the display. There was a recent *kind of* reissue of the Early Bird package that was a Wal-Mart exclusive. The packaging was identical, but the figures are the new editions and much more detailed and realistic.

Why should you get this set? Five reasons:

1. It was the first time you could get any Star Wars figures.

2. In hindsight, this is now worth a lot of money. How much? Well, never mind – you couldn’t afford it. Check Ebay if you’re interested.

3. Stickers! Who doesn’t like stickers?

4. A membership card! Finally, you belong!

5. The ultimate Kenner Star Wars collector’s item. If you think you have everything but don’t have this, you…have…nothing!