AT-AT All Terrain Armored Transport (ESB)

Holy mother pussbucket! It’s the AT-AT! Well, that’s what you would have said if you had gotten this Christmas morning (or whatever holiday you enjoy). The AT-AT – the biggest (arguably, versus the Death Star Playset) and most expensive toy in the vintage Star Wars arsenal.

What features did yon toy possess?

1. Movable head, with a handle on the inside, and a “trigger” to move the chin guns.

2. Adjustable “ear” guns.

3. opening cockpit for two figures (presumably for an AT-AT Driver and Commander.

4. Room and standing pegs inside for troops.

5. A hatch where Luke can throw in a thermal detonator (never made).

6. Adjustable legs – these puppies didn’t move on their own.

7. The chin guns light up and make sounds. Sounds!

8. Later releases of the AT-AT came with the accessory set with rifles ,grappling hooks, backpacks – never mind that most of the accessories were actually Rebel stuff.

This thing is big – I’ve got one still sitting out in the basement and my two-year old was frightened of it. Now she wants to play with it – but that’s not the point. Despite having the weight advantage, she was still scared of it.

Why should you get this toy? Five reasons:

1. It's the mother f---ing AT-AT! Do you not get goosebumps when you first saw that thing on screen?

2. It's HUGE! You can actually fly a Snowspeeder under the legs!

3. "Mom. Dad. You got me the AT-AT Commander and Driver. I have to have an AT-AT."

4. Vehicle and a playset.

5. Good substitute for that dog you always wanted.

Backstory:

The AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport) was developed by Kuat Drive Yards, and evolved from vehicles around since the Clone Wars. It stood 22.5 meters tall, could walk up to 60 km/h, and could hold up to a ton of cargo, 40 troops or more (or a combination of light vehicles and personnel). The command head housed the crew (usually a driver, gunner, and commander) and had chin-mounted heavy laser cannons, and repeating blasters on the side of the head for faster targets. While their armor was strong, there were weak points at the neck joint and the underbelly. To protect the underbelly, AT-STs were usually stationed around it. AT-ATs were delivered to a planet via dropships from a Star Destroyer or other Imperial carrier. Wookieepedia article

12th in alphabetical order

AST-5 Armored Sentinel Transport (ROTJ)

The AST-5 (Armored Sentinel Tranport) is one of the many mini-rigs featured in the Kenner Star Wars line. Unlike many of the mini-rigs which took their inspiration from bigger vehicles in the movies (compare the mini sand skiff to the full sand skiff), the AST did not seem to have a larger counterpart. It was also one of the few mini-rigs never to be featured in any Star Wars novel, cartoon, or other media ever again. In fact, forget I ever mentioned it.

Why should you own this vehicle? Five reasons:

1. Because of its odd design, you can easily fool your friends into believing its from any one of a number of different toy line. Just hide the box.

2. It features not one, not two, but three different positions! "Sentry mode" (folded together standing up), "attack mode" (engine at a 90 degree angle), and "pursuit mode" (engine folded behind the cockpit).

3. It inspired today's folding cell phones. Maybe.

4. For those who missed that "just right" shade or red/orange that the Cloud City Pod Car came in.

5. It has two obvious guns, and when folded up it looks like one of the suits of Cobra armor from G.I. Joe... made by the same company...wait a sec.

Backstory:

The only backstory the AST has is provided by the box. It looks like it was used by Jabba's guards. Maybe for chasing down escaped prisoners. Maybe for manning the lifeguard stations at Jabba's private beach. Who knows? All we can suppose is that they kept it off-screen during ROTJ - maybe in the garage. Wookieepedia article

11th in alphabetical order

Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2) Now with Sensorscope (ESB 1908-82)

How do you make more variations of a figure when he doesn’t actually wear different outfits? Anyway you can of course! Kenner was provided with this opportunity when R2-D2 showed two more talents in The Empire Strikes Back. Not only did he show a little “radar” dish that could extend from his dome on Hoth, but he also had a periscope that he used on Dagobah. Kenner went ahead and built one of these features in, but call it the wrong accessory. The “Sensorscope” was what R2 used on Hoth to scan for Luke, but the feature on the figure more resembles the periscope he used on Dagobah. C’mon people! One little detail and you mix it up? Granted, Kenner could have been working with details not fully fleshed out before the movie actually premiered, so I’ll let it slide. Of course, the fastest way to make another R2 would have been to add the third freakin’ leg! Okay, rant over.

The ESB card read “ARTOO-DETOO (R2-D2)” and the ROTJ card read “Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2) (with sensorscope).”

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. R2 with a little plastic piece that pops out? I am sooooo there!

2. While Han is sticking Luke in your slit-belly Tauntaun, you can have R2 sensing. Awesome!

3. Stick it to C-3PO: “You know over 6 million forms of communication? Well, can you do this? No? In your face!”

4. Use this R2 in your Dagobah playset. Submerge him in the foam “swamp” and stick the periscope up. Now that’s entertainment!

5. “Sensorscope “ sounds oddly sensual. Ooooooooh, yeah.

Backstory:

R2 has a lot of pop-out attachments, only three of which are shown in Empire, a couple more shown in ROT J (unless you count the scene where he gets electrocuted), but most shown in the prequels. You think they could have at least made the little claw arm he used on Yoda too. For the rest of R2’s backstory I will refer you to the Wookieepedia article.

10th in alphabetical order

Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2) with pop-up Lightsaber (POTF 1985)

Kenner production team meeting:

Guy 1: Hmm…how can we milk more out of figures we have already made?

Guy 2: What about sparking torso C-3PO?

Guy 3: No – too obvious. How about a Leia in disco suede?

Guy 1: No – too many design changes. How about a new R2?

Guy 2: Yeah, but what hasn’t been done? The third leg?

Guy 1: Oh, we did that in the Droid Factory so not many people could get it. What about a lightsaber that can come out of his head, like in the Tatooine scene?

Guy 3: Yeah, but let’s use an Endor scene photo on the package!

All three: Brilliant!

Alright, so many it didn’t go quite like this, but with a “premium” line like the POTF one, why could there have been a really new figure? Why an R2 with one little feature. Heck, the lightsaber doesn’t even really pop out – it rises as you turn his head. I want a mother----ing saber that shoots out his head right into my Jedi Luke’s hand! Is that so much to ask?

Well, anyway, this R2 comes on a POTF card, making it rarer. It comes with a green lightsaber that rise from his head as you turn it, and is removable. As any POTF figure, it comes with a coin, but inexplicably, it shows a photo – not of R2 shooting out the lightsaber – no, it shows him short-circuiting at the Endor bunker. Go figure.

Why should you get this figure? Five reasons:

1. Maybe you could rig a pen spring in there and make it really shoot.

2. Makes up for Poncho Luke not coming with a lightsaber. Partially.

3. Adds credence to the line, “Is that a lightsaber, or are you just happy to see me?”

4. Gave hope that they would finally get R2 right. Oh, wait – the line just ended.

5. A real coup, since your parents are probably saying, “Don’t you already have one of these?”

Backstory:

The backstory has been covered in my original R2 post, and here is the link to the R2 with sensorscope, and the Droids R2

Full story? Wookieepedia article

9th in alphabetical order