Friday, October 10, 2008

Rebel Commander (ESB 1980-82)

The Rebel Commander figure came with a blaster rifle which can be swung over his shoulder, and came on an ESB and ROTJ card. The figure itself, according to The Action Figure Archive, is based on the character that yells "Come on!" after an AT-AT gets tied up and crashes. The guy actually on the picture is a completely different person - no surprise in the original Star Wars line. I mean, look at 4-LOM and Zuckuss - their names were incorrectly given to each other until the corrected 90's line.

Unfortunately for Rebel Commander he wasn't given an actual name, like Commander James Hetfield or something. That would have been cool. Rooooooooock! I always wondered though, why did he yell "Come on!" and run towards the AT-AT? I mean, the rebels were all escaping off planet in the other direction right? If it was for some purpose of getting to the AT-AT, why was it then blown up by a snowspeeder? Mysteries.

Why should you own this figure? Five reasons:

1. The afore-hinted-at James Hetfield mustache (lead singer for Metallica, for those uneducated folk out there). This figure needs an ESP Custom Series M guitar, STAT.

2. Finally act out the scene where we find out why the character was running towards the AT-AT: "Free AT-AT! Free AT-AT!" Kapow! "Ah, man..."

3. In the tradition of the "Death Star Commander" figure, rename him "Hoth Trench Commander." Or maybe "Macrobinoculars Commander." Or "C'Mon Guy."

4. Have him rally the Rebel Soldiers in Hoth gear: "Alright men. I know that all the weapons we are holding are completely ineffectual against what's coming at us. I know that our artillery guns do absolutely nothing. I know that I have no idea what we are doing out here since we can't do anything. Ah hell, let's go shoot some wampas instead."

5. Instead of James Hetfield, he could easily be Morgan Spurlock, with his new documentary, "Imperialize Me" where he exposes the outrageous nutritional content of Stormtrooper rations. Many of them then defect toward the more organic "Dagobah Diet."


A Rebel Commander was just another cog in the Rebel forces. A Commander ranked below captain, but strict hierarchies of command rank are sometimes loosely interpreted because of the rag-tag nature of the Rebellion. The Empire, though, whew! I heard they knew how to keep some discipline!

Want more? Wookieepedia article on Commander rank.

132nd in alphabetical order

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